5 Signs to look for in a Good Friendship
Friends are an important part of life. Even an important element of our health. Whether you are a social butterfly or a quiet introspect, we all go through the same struggles trying to find deep and meaningful relationships. That’s part of our nature as human beings.
Friendships X Romantic Relationships
Some of us put a lot of pressure on finding romantic relationships, but friendships are just as important. Couples get divorced and break up all the time, but true friends will always be there for you no matter what. It sounds cliche but it’s true!
All successful people I know had one thing in common: people around them that inspired them supported them, and helped them grow. The trouble is, how do we make sure we only surround ourselves with the best?
I recently had a frustrating experience with a friend (I’m using the word friend loosely here) that I felt compelled to share with you and my thoughts on what real friendships are.
Why are good friends so important?
Good friends are important not only because they influence our decision-making process but also because they make up our support system. Good friends can help you achieve your goals. Bad friends can drag you down.
We’ve all experienced that one toxic person in our lives, who made everything worse, but somehow, we kept them around because we thought they were a “good friend” or we just gave them too many chances that they probably didn’t deserve.
My experience recently involved a person I didn’t know for too long, but in spite of that, I thought of her as a “friend”. I wouldn’t necessarily call her a toxic person, but something about her was always off. It wasn’t until I needed a favor from her, that I realized she’s probably not a good friend.
The favor in question was something very simple: I asked her to ship something of value to me when I was overseas — something I needed for work — but before she came through, I felt her pushing back a lot with phrases like “I don’t have time” and “I’m late for work” or ” I have too much going on” as if helping a friend out wasn’t in her list of priorities.
I had to ask myself: “Am I asking too much of this person?” Would I have done the same if she was the one asking”? the answer was no, so I had to rethink that whole relationship.
What to look for
You probably have someone like that in your life right now, or you had it in your past. Here are some questions that you can ask yourself that will help you decide if someone in your life is worth your energy and time or you’re just wasting your time with a meaningless friendship. Here they are:
1. Do we share the same values?
This is important because that is the base for any friendship. If you don’t share the same values, you probably won’t be friends for too long.
2. Will this person be there for me if I need it?
Unfortunately, some people don’t like to get out of their way to help someone else, as opposed to only when it’s convenient for them. If they’re true friends, they won’t mind helping you out in your time of need, even if inconveniences them in some way.
3. Will they be there for me when things are bad?
Empathy is a feeling that is a normal part of human nature. True friends should support you.
4. When something good happens, are they truly happy for me?
Real friends bring each other up. If they are not happy for you when they are supposed to be, beware.
5. Can they keep your secrets?
Good friends don’t talk about your problems with others without your knowledge.
If you answer “No” to any of these questions, maybe it’s time to reassess your friendships. That’s not to say, you should expect everything from them and not give anything back. A good friendship is a two-way street. Always!
Going back to my point earlier, if you just keep people around because you have a specific role for them in your life, but they don’t share your values, then why keep them around? This world is full of wonderful people and we don’t need to force something if it doesn’t feel right.
I hope you enjoyed these little pep talk! If you think someone can benefit from reading this, don’t forget to share on social media!